What's the speed limit to modern life?
Photo @cadop
Ask anybody how their weekend was, and they'll usually reply with some combination of "good, but busy." Ask them how work was. Busy. How their day is going. Busy. How's life with the kids? Busy.
Everyone is busy.
All the damn time.
There's no end to it. The busyness of work is greeted with the busyness of taking care of the bills, the house, the pets, the kids, the aging parents, the endless responsibilities of merely existing. Ask a parent how busy they are and they'll roll their eyes all the way back to the stone ages with an emphatic, "you have no idea!"
Everyone is busy. Which got me wondering if there is some sort of biological "speed limit" on hectic, modern living beyond which we can't be happy? Or even survive?
Of course, happiness itself is a tricky thing to define, as people's experiences of happiness and well-being are highly individualized and influenced by a range of complex factors. However, research has shown that there are certain conditions that are generally associated with increased happiness and well-being—like enjoying a strong marriage, close friends and sense of community—and those conditions may be threatened by hectic, modern living that emphasizes material success above all else.
It is commonly accepted that there are limits to how stressful a person's lifestyle can be before it starts to have negative impacts on their physical and mental health. We hear this echoed in advice like, “you need to slow down,” or “it’s time to take a break,” or “maybe you should take a step back.” We talk about unplugging, stepping away, stepping aside, getting out, getting off, or opting-out. As if the modern way of life is a treadmill we’re stuck running on. Rest is the cure in most scenarios. Reprioritizing in others. The extent to which different individuals can handle hectic and fast-paced living varies based on factors such as their age, genetics, overall health, and personal coping mechanisms, but the limit always seems to be there, lurking in the background, waiting.
The symptoms of fast living
One of the biggest factors that may impact happiness and well-being is the amount of stress and pressure that people experience in their daily lives. Most of the pressure we feel is self-induced, even when we don't really see it like that. But fast-living is a choice. Or maybe it's better to think of it as a default mode of existence that you actively have to resist, opt-out of, and vote against.
Imagine the hectic, fast-paced way of life that is endemic to the West as a giant fast-flowing river. You dip a toe in the minute you enter into the education system with its deadlines, and tests, and progress reports. You start to feel the pull of the current when you enter high school and people ask you what your plans are after you graduate. They expect you to say something about "more school." More school that leads to a respectable and well-paid career. More school as you try to figure out who it is you are and what you want out of life. More school until you settle on something that at least part way excites you. More school so you’ll have a piece of paper you can hang on your wall and use to declare your worth to the world. And then you start to feel the under-toe. Student loans. Car payments, and are you saving up to buy a house? You buy the house. You get married, because that’s what successful people do. You have kids, because you’re supposed to want kids, right? Now, you have arrived. Now you have all the adult bills. All the adult problems. All the adult stress.
Stress
Most people's experience of chronic stress is so chronic that they don't even notice it anymore. It's hidden. We hide it behind forced smiles and automated small talk responses. How are you doing today? Oh, just fine. But it is entirely possible that living in a fast-paced, high-stress environment could exceed an individual's ability to cope with stress and lead to negative impacts on happiness, health, and well-being. Problem is, by the time that happens it's gotten serious.
Health issues
Chronic stress has been linked to a range of negative health and well-being outcomes, including increased risk of mental health problems, like anxiety and depression as well as cardiovascular disease, digestive issues, weight problems, headaches, trouble sleeping and more.
Lack of connection
What about taking time out to relax and unwind with family and close friends? Another factor that may impact happiness and well-being is the quality and quantity of social connections and support. Research has shown that people who have strong social connections and support networks tend to have higher levels of health, happiness and well-being. That helps, of course. When you can find the time to do it, right? But is it the norm? Or is it the exception? It isn't really the way we live anymore. We get together for special occasions. Relax in spurts on vacations. Vacations that are so short-lived, action packed, and expensive that they're often their own source of tremendous stress. Not everyone has the luxury of, or the opportunity for, social engagement.
Everyone is so short of time and genuine rest that it seems like we're all just running on fumes.
Obviously, the impact of hectic, modern living on happiness and well-being varies widely from person to person, depending on individual circumstances and coping strategies. Some people may be able to thrive in fast-paced, high-stress environments, while others may find them overwhelming and detrimental to their well-being. If you love it, great. Good for you. But I suspect that the majority of us fall into that latter camp.
Maybe not as obvious is the importance of finding your own way to to manage and reduce stress in your life. There is no prescription. No convenient little pill. It's a process of trial and error. Figure out what works for you whether its relaxation techniques, exercise, or focussing on maintaining healthy habits like getting enough sleep and eating a balanced diet. It is also important to have a supportive social network and to engage in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is the only way we stand a chance of coping with the demands of fast-paced living and maintaining a sense of balance and happiness.
But there's another element to this.
Learning how to cope is like making sure you have a well-made boat that can carry you along that river. A boat that will keep you buoyant enough not to drown. Or maybe an anchor—like a supportive partner, network of friends, or community—that keeps you tethered so you can withstand the pressure. And maybe, for some, it's staying out of the river entirely. Standing on the banks and saying no to anything that isn't essential for survival. Minimizing. Downsizing. Opting-out as much as possible. But is that a solution? Collectively, I sense that we're all headed for a cliff and we don't even know it.
The real answer isn’t for each of us as individuals to find a way to deal with a system that has us taxed to the brink of burnt-out exhaustion, but to design a society in which everyone has the best opportunity to slow down enough to actually thrive.